For some reason, I recently developed a habit of thinking through and evaluating my past week’s activities every Monday. Sad to say, last week was not very satisfying. I was not able to do my physical exercises regularly, I broke my diet, and was not able to teach properly because of stress. This was in no small way thanks to our very unreliable Internet and telephone service provider! The confusing schedule of students also added to my frustrations. It was indeed a very hectic week and I remember feeling so tired last Friday night that I couldn’t sleep and decided to watch a flick until dawn which I know did my health no favours at all.So after a while of being immersed in my thoughts, I began to feel depressed. I blamed my inability to move freely and ‘normally’ for making me dysfunctional and ended up posting a long Facebook status as follows:
“No matter how hard I try not to be consumed by my helpless situation, times like this come by every now and then when I would feel very frustrated and impatient especially when I can’t do something I need to…. Dumadating na sa punto na I would imagine kung natuluyan nalang ako hindi siguro ganito kahirap. Pero every single time there’s always someone from God who brings me hope..(It comes to a point when I would imagine if I had only died it may not have been this hard. But every single time, there’s always someone from God who brings me hope..) Someone who reminds me I am far better than a loser and life is wonderful. Whatever it was that led me to this is already in the past and I no longer live there. That everyone deserves a second chance; a chance to change and to appreciate every single thing I have ignored. Besides, I am surrounded by loving and wonderful people, not to mention a supportive family. Sad to say I am learning the lessonthe freaking hard way. But I believe I’ll be the best I could ever be after this…. Thank you Lord for everything and sana (hopefully), in times like this when I feel like I can no longer hold on please don’t let me go. Kayo na po bahala God (It’s all up to you now God). I trust your ways…. “
As expected, words of encouragement flooded in instantly but they didn’t actually change my heavy-hearted mood.
Then God whispered an idea: instead of idle thinking and ending up stressed and depressed, why not make myself busy doing something productive. And so I decided to start a Project; and this blog was born.
Apart from the fact that I am an amateur blogger and not gifted with a perfect vocabulary, I try to keep it clear and accessible for all to understand. I initially started this to make myself busy while hopefully helping others who are struggling with similar experiences; either themselves or attempting to walk alongside a loved one who is taking a similar journey. I hope my journey to stroke recovery will serve as an inspiration to many. I want to be honest during the bad times, appreciate the good times and explain as best I can how I try to rationalize the two to make the very best of this wonderful life I’ve been given, whatever the difficulties. Recovery from a stroke takes courage and determination but can seem lonely at times. Let’s not lose hope for God is our Mighty Healer if we just keep our faith. Thank you for reading – you are not alone – and God bless us all…..
Miss Joie, 29, an amateur blogger. She had suffered left side paralysis after a hemorrhagic stroke in December of year 2014 due to Brain Aneurysm. This blog is her first and she made it to share her life changing experience to other stroke survivors. She’s originally an online ESL – English as Second Language instructor to foreign students for about seven years.